Grief and Bullying: What You Should Know

No parent ever wants to see his or her child suffer at the hands of a bully. What’s worse is when a parent discovers their own child becoming the bullies themselves. According to statistics, New Zealand is reported to have the second-highest rate of bullying  out of fifty-one countries. In fact, one survey taken by the Programme for International Student Assessment reveals that 6.7% of students reported to being bullied by others, while 6.3% said other students have destroyed personal items that belonged to them.
This leaves us to question what actually causes bullying. The reasons behind bullying can be complex to understand. There are a number of factors that can lead to negative behaviour and some people find themselves becoming a bully without realizing it. While one common misconception of bullies is their lack of self-esteem, studies prove otherwise. In fact, according to a study from UCLA bullies actually have extremely high self-esteem.

Feeling Powerless
When a tragic event or the loss of a loved one occurs, the feeling of grief can turn your world upside down. It might seem logical that kids who grieve should get a break from such negativity. However, others may not be kind enough to consider the personal issues going on in the home. Those who are grieving should be able to find support, experience kindness and find relief from sadness and pain instead of encountering more tough experiences.

Signs of Anger
For those in their grieving stage, feeling powerless and having the sense of denial can result in poor actions due to anger. While it is common to feel angry about losing someone you love, this leads many grievers the desire to inflict pain on others as well.

Bullies were once bullied
Another reason why people become bullies is that they were once pushed around and put-down themselves. It might seem odd to think that some would repeat the same behaviours that once hurt them but it is human nature for many. Their depression leads them to suffer from stress and anxiety and ultimately drives a detrimental impact on all aspects of their life. The feelings of sadness can create withdrawal from family and friends and lead you into the depression stage.

Need to Control
Those who push others around are also pushed by the power of control. They often enjoy being able to control their environment and subdue others in any way possible. Some may lack empathy and seek pain in others. That is because their victim’s reaction gives them a sense of accomplishment to take away from their grief.
Bullying is a serious issue that must be addressed immediately. With the help of parents and the right guidance, kids can gain the tools they need to work through their grief and issues instead of trying to deal with them by hurting others as well.

Written By: Emma Mills, Health writer on HR issues and workplace bullying.
According to Emma: “Bullying is particularly concerning to me, given some of the problems my brother faced while he was at school, and I’m sure that sadly some of those issues have transferred into his adult relationships and confidence.” We hope this article along with the other previous articles would help someone – Let us know your views or comments..